Things I Learned in Florida This Weekend

1. Florida is a big flat swamp. I realized this as soon as I stepped off the airplane and my hair frizzed out at midnight.

2. I'm not sure which used more gauze/vaseline/filters on the lens -- Cybill Shepherd in Moonlighting, especially the pregnancy season, or John Kerry in his endorsement segment at the end of his political ads.

3. There actually are people who would voluntarily go to a talk-radio/tv blowhard rally -- my parents. In the morning before my cousin's wedding, my mother got all excited about going off to see a rally with Sean Hannity, Bill Bennett and a bunch of other C-list politicos. She kept saying "do you want to come with us"? I informed them that I'd rather stay in my hotel room and pick the nail polish off of my toes. Which I did.

4. The Men in Black ride is the coolest ride at Universal Studios. The Back To The Future Ride will make you very, very, very seasick. It's the one ride where they say, "if you are prone to motion sickness, don't come here", believe them.

5. For the most part, my relatives are nice people. However, weddings still are very expensive, excruciating ceremonies, even when nicely done.