I wasn't really going to blog about this, but I haven't blogged in a while (shout out to my loyal reader), and this is starting to eat at me.

The Terri Schiavo case is something that I'm really mixed about. It's not being handled right, but on the other hand I'm not sure what right is. In my own personal universe, I'd make this decision based on medical information which I don't have and I'm not competent to judge now. If I had to make this decision for someone I would do the research to the point where I'd be comfortable with making a call. The thing that this case is highlighting to me is that we haven't had a real discussion in this country regarding the real issue, euthanasia. The problem with this very public case is that if it is decided that this woman is gone and all that is left is a husk of a body (and I'll let each of you make your own call on that), is that we have no way to bring it about under current law if the case is under scrutiny. If we agree that it's okay to let her go, I just have a hard time starving her to death over a long period of time. We treat dogs better. The debate we need to have is whether euthanasia is acceptible under any circumstances, not who prays louder or who is the legal guardian.

But none of that is what prompted this entry. It was one other tidbit that I read in some article or another. One of the things that bothered me was how did a woman so young have a heart attack? I've heard the crowd who demonizes the husband insinuating that he tried to kill her, in full conspiracy theory mode. I didn't really buy that, although I'm the first to admit I don't know all that much about the case. Then I read that Terri had lost 100 pounds with the assistance of her mother. People then described her eating behaviors for a 110 pound woman who looked painfully thin. Lots of classic hallmarks of eating disorders, both anorexia and bulimia.

I saw pictures of the plump Terri. Okay, not Heidi Klum, but who is? Very pleasant girl, nice smile, seemed happy (okay, that early 80s hair had to go, but there's not much we can do about that). But being fat is SUCH a sin in modern times that people will do anything to overcome it. And the seduction is huge. I can say this with certainty. Of all the things I've done in my life -- and not to brag too much, I've done some pretty damn nifty things in my time, some things that might be considered actual accomplishments -- I have NEVER gotten anywhere near the praise and adulation that I have for losing weight. People treat you as if you have discovered the unified field theory or the cure for cancer. No one minds a compliment or two, but you actually get huge amounts of genuine respect and deference for fitting into that size four. It's sick. But here's what it really does -- it reinforces the idea that if you let up for one second or backslide one little bit, your value to society is completely diminished. And you will do anything not to go back. Head rushes? Messed up blood counts? Fatigue? Heart palpitations? No biggie. You're thin, and you're never going to be fat again, no matter the cost.

As soon as I saw that tidbit, I felt profoundly sad for Terri, and Michael and all the family members. This isn't about money -- it's about something that just went too far, all in the name of perfection. And her mother encouraged her and kept her on plan. I know plenty of other mothers who have done the same thing.

Mrs. Schindler. No one thinks you don't love your daughter or that you don't want the best for her. But let her go, please. Or perhaps let the guilt go.