Random Things I Have Learned in Kansas

1. When it is over 110 degrees, your clothes will shrink. Why? Is it bloating, water retention? Overeating and lack of exercise? Nay, it is none of these things. It is because when the water tanks bake in the sun all day, there is no such setting as "cold/cold" on a washing machine. The options are "hot", "very hot" and "you didn't want to wear this shirt again now, did you?"

2. One's hair can actually dry in five minutes without a hair dryer. And that is when one has hair that is thick and usually if left to its own devices would take 12 hours to dry. Excellent.

3. There is a new category of attractiveness, referred to as "Kansas Hot". One doesn't even need beer-goggles for it. I was out walking with a female friend the other day, and while neither one of us is a bowser, we also don't spend most of our time here looking our best or are particularly gussied up. We were wearing regular clothes though. The number of people who just would blurt out "hello, ladies" or "hi!" (a courtesy not necessarily afforded to each other if they are male)was astonishing. Woo hoo! I guess I will keep my skinny t-shirt that reads across the chest: "I've Never Been Hotter Than I Was in Kansas". But due to item one, I'm not going to wear it out here because if I have to wash it, I won't ever be able to breathe in it again.