What Is Love? (insert your own tune here)
I came across one definition of love in an advice column that was so good, I wanted to capture it somewhere.
The columnist said: "Are you always happy to see the person? Are you happier in the person's company than you are in the company of others? Are you as comfortable with yourself in this person's presence as you are when you're alone? If you imagine this person suddenly weren't in your life, does that make you sad in a way that isn't imaginary?"
This kind of sucks, because there are some circumstances where I'd love to talk myself out of something, but I'm going "check, check, check, check, right on... damn".
The other great definition I heard years ago is "you both think you got the better end of the deal". That one's kind of sweet.
Don't get me wrong -- I'm not a huge sap. I hate being in love. Good thing I don't do it that often.
I came across one definition of love in an advice column that was so good, I wanted to capture it somewhere.
The columnist said: "Are you always happy to see the person? Are you happier in the person's company than you are in the company of others? Are you as comfortable with yourself in this person's presence as you are when you're alone? If you imagine this person suddenly weren't in your life, does that make you sad in a way that isn't imaginary?"
This kind of sucks, because there are some circumstances where I'd love to talk myself out of something, but I'm going "check, check, check, check, right on... damn".
The other great definition I heard years ago is "you both think you got the better end of the deal". That one's kind of sweet.
Don't get me wrong -- I'm not a huge sap. I hate being in love. Good thing I don't do it that often.
Labels: love
posted by Lily @ Sunday, June 06, 2010
1 Comments:
At 9:57 AM ,
Duke said...
Those both seem like good definitions if you add one requirement....time.
Most people experience your first definition during the early stages of infatuation. It may even last 2 or 3 years but eventually wears off. If you can answer yes to those questions after 10 or 15 years then you have something.
The same is true of the second. If you still think you got the better end of the deal after 20 years it sure could be love. Or maybe you actually did get the better end of it. Most partnerships are sorta one-sided with one doing more than the other. I've never in my life seen a true 50/50 marriage and I personally don't think they exist. Over time illness, injury, losing a job, or other things pop up. One person will often have to shoulder more than 50% of the burden.
And to me that is the true test of love. Someone commits to you fully, and over time is always there regardless of your health or income. Will they step up to carry your burden when you cannot do it yourself? Will they adapt to less money if you lose your job? Will they always be there?
True attachments weather the test of time and only time can really say.
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