Happy Thanksgiving!

This veteran of the wars wishes you all a happy turkey day and adds: "Please eat a chicken -- they're mean. We're cute, you know. This is a much nicer place to rest than last year -- last year I was in the deser...I mean Kansas. People kept putting the weirdest things on my head and putting me in compromising positions with Mr. Potato Head and GI Joe."

That's okay, you can say desert. Your sandy butt is still depositing sand all over my table.