Feeling Like A Criminal

It's been a while since I had a cold and could actually take medicine for it. For years, I was pretty healthy, and then when I was pregnant I got a lot of them, but then it's like the Cold Medicine Nazi -- "No pills for you!"

So last week, I was feeling crappy and realized that I could actually medicate myself. Being allergic to Tylenol, my all-in-one cold option consists of...Advil Cold and Sinus, formerly known as Co-Advil. So I go to the drug store and search the shelves. All the usual Tylenol based products, Nyquil, Dayquil etc. Nope. Up on the top shelf I see what I think are a bunch of coupons for CoAdvil and Sudafed. "Wow -- how nice! They want to save me money. So where ARE the damn pills?"

I look more closely at the coupons. They're not coupons, they're chits that I have to take to the pharmacist (groan number one -- I'm in a hurry, I just want to get my pills and go) to pick up my pills. "Oh yeah, there was something about one of these substances causing some kind of problem". So I get on line, and hand the pharmacist my ticket. "Can I have your driver's license please?" "Excuse me? I have a cold. I want some basic medicine". "I need your drivers license." So I want to get out of there so I dig out the license. Then he pulls out a big book. "Can you write your name and address and sign here, here and here?" "What the hell is going on here?" "It's the law. We have to compare names and make sure you're not overbuying" (yeah right - they really input all these squiggles somewhere).

I eventually get this precious stuff, and head to the doctor. I mention to the receptionist and she says "I know -- the advil stuff is the only stuff that works on my sinus headaches. I thought they stopped making it, until someone told me you need to ask the pharmacist for it". The nurse chimes in and says "it's all the crystal meth users. They were making crystal meth from the sudafed'. Wow.

The doctor examines me and says, 'if you need stuff, go to the store and get the behind-the-counter Sudafed. The stuff on the shelves is crap." I told him the experience I had on the way there, and he said 'Yeah, this is bullshit, pardon my French. What is the world coming to?"

So, ladies and gentlemen, CoAdvil is a controlled substance. I had an easier time talking UK pharmacists out of codeine than I did getting these pills. If a bunch of hopheads and junkies want to take the time to make crystal meth out of these pills and kill themselves, honest to God let them. Get the nanny state off my back.