What Does the Boy Get Into?

I must be one of those bad 'helicopter' parents, who hovers over their kids, as I decided to go in today and clean out the boy's e-mail box. (I know, he'll yell at me for the privacy stuff later -- how dare I snoop on him?). I was very interested to find the following messages in his inbox:

1) A message from Google Jobs, asking him to come work for them. It's good to know that the boy is looking for work. Or maybe it's to get extra cash to buy drugs!

2) TWO messages asking him to come check out his eHarmony free personality program. Hey, my son is perfect and doesn't need any internet dating service to set him up!

3) An ad for the Snuggie. Hmm, he already has one. It's called "Mommy".

4) A reunion message saying someone has been looking for him. Must be all his little friends from the nursery in the hospital.

5) Several messages advising him how to get out debt and saying there's US citizen money available. This must be why he's looking for the job. I KNOW he must be doing drugs.

6) Two messages telling him his free glucose meter is available. My baby is sick and he didn't tell me!

7) He's won a free Bahamas cruise. He better take his Mommy, but I bet he's going to take one of those hussies from the Internet.

I've got to make sure Santa is all primed up, even if the above makes me think he hasn't been a very good boy indeed. Merry Happy to one and all.